the petrina7 MicroUniverse is now 7 YEARS OLD!

yes, you heard right. it's now officially 7 years old, this blog of mine. :D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO A PLACE WHICH HAS BORNE WITNESS TO SO MANY MEMORIES.

happy ones like graduation and good times with family and friends. the genting road trip. the penang road trip. the UK Commonwealth Moot experience. Sekinchan and photography. eating different kinds of good food. :)

silly ones like the time we tried to break into the faculty after being locked out by the 'pak guard' about half past midnight. (no we didn't end up breaking in, i was still figuring out how to climb through the tiny window when the guard came back). or my nose on fire after i ate some free RUSKY instant noodles which were too spicy and which i swallowed too fast. almost knocking down a traffic policeman.

introspective ones. ... starting out in the working world. changing jobs. dealing with the end of something i hoped for and longed to cherish. CW. missing someone to pieces. heartbreak. poems of loss and sorrow. the Mamak Stall Messenger. Firebird.

spiritual ones. drawing closer to God and coming to trust in Him more and more. even when it was painful and difficult. understanding what community means.

now i love you, my dearest friends. and i love you beloved family members.
and i love you too - my little space on the Net where i have met bearers of hope, joy and courage amongst others.

here's to many more years of honest writing. i may not be eloquent or articulate; don't come here for facts or hard analysis but for a piece of heart and feeling from the depths within.

to all my readers, thank you. your presence has helped me somewhat.

Doom II

hey does anyone remember the game Doom II?
that FPS game where you are a Marine faced against the forces of Hell, armed with (in order) your bare fists, a pistol, a shotgun, a chaingun, a rocket launcher, a plasma gun and the BFG 4000? oh, i left out the chainsaw. :P

it was blood. gore. guts. creepy sound effects and the darkness which would scare the bejeebers out of you when you played it late at night alone.

man - those days. back when i was in form 6 and needing something to channel that nervous energy. i used to imagine i was using the shotgun (my weapon of choice) or the rocket launcher to blow all of my troubles away. ha, and the ugly monsters. i hated those irritating flying skulls. and the yellow fire demons which would burn poor old me to death. and that big ass Cyber Demon (so hard to kill)

enjoy this speedrun of Doom II - brings back good memories.

temptations and the season of lent

it's far too hot now for my liking, i m sweating even as i type this. the kind of heat that settles into the deepest pores of your skin and forces the sweat out and you feel your entire body on fire.

now perhaps it's only time that those old and bitter memories float to the surface - awaiting another round of challenge this season of lent. the faces, the names, most days they don't mean a thing. some days, especially in seasons like these, they come up with a vengeance.
my own.
sometimes i wish that i had told off that stupid overzealous religious nut what i thought of him, instead of being so accepting and polite, and letting the anger inside simmer. you don't fool me, no, keep on smiling, and i'll still see those fangs beneath the lips - devil that you are.
sometimes i wish i had adamantium claws and like Wolverine, i would claw out at those fools, those who had dared to render me such humiliation. and watch, as the pieces of skin fall on the floor, mixed with a congealed mass of blood.

it's only to be expected - these trial(s). come the season, i sit alone, struggling with these feelings, trying to remind myself that i am who i am now, new challenges await my attention and effort, relationships which require my love and affection.

the sense of loss which accompanies these feelings (as they arise) is something i used to ignore. but looking more deeply, i think it's time to acknowledge the pain and suffering i had gone through. even if it means that some parts of my past are places i'd rather not revisit. nothing takes kindly to rejection, nothing lives to its fullest when it is pushed away from the light.
yet i believe that even when pressed to re-enter those places, i will still be able to move through them in the light of grace.

those who are already pure have no need of further purification. even if i run away to the ends of the earth, i would still hold these burdens within me.
and in recognising how impure i am within, how much bitterness is still within me (although much less powerful now), i invite Him to be with me as He has promised to make all things beautiful in His time.

i know i have healed completely when as a matter of course, the memories return and i am bitter no more.

The petrina7 MicroUniverse is now 6 years old!

yes, this blog is six (6) years old!

i can't quite believe it - charting my first few steps in law school to finishing law school to chambering to working as a corporate conveyancing lawyer to moving into service at the AG's Chambers as Federal Counsel.

seen quite a bit, felt quite a lot, and written somewhat about all of the above.
i think that rather sums up my blog.
it's gonna continue for quite a bit, as long as i am both living and love writing, neither which has seemed to abate so far...:)

to all my loyal faithful readers, petrina loves you. yes, she does. now remember to keep in touch with her now and then, because she'd love hearing from you. good or bad or just plain weird.
*HUGS and SQUEE**

a tribute to Mr Lye, my physics teacher

this post comes as a tribute to Mr Lye Kuan Yuen, my physics teacher in Form 4 and 5...

i still remember the time when he explained the Butterfly effect and the Chaos theory - you may not know it, but this opened a door in my mind to love philosophy and to look at physics in an entirely new and holistic manner.

from this seminal moment, i moved to reading 'a history of western philosophy' and post SPM, working out spinoza's theories on God in graphical form, understanding where the divide between believer and non-believer begins, to see and grasp what plato meant by the cave and shadow analogy ... and there was no turning back.

i've come to appreciate jurisprudence and plunge into it with an almost unthinkable fervour, so much so i still think about jurisprudential and philosophical issues in my life today,

thank you, dear teacher.

and for the time you believed in what i had to say - consequences be damned,

and for the time you shared such good advice with me, and encouraged me to pursue my dreams- i am still making it happen, even as i write this -

and for the jokes we've shared, pondering over physics problems (i never could work the maths out, preferring abstractions of thought and principle to the mechanics of how much pressure and force were :P) and working them out,

and for simply opening me up to live life a whole lot more.

thank you again.
God bless you! :)

how much i long to see you again and buy you a good meal, and tell you that you changed my life - well that day will come for sure. hopefully you still remember me by then. ;)

Memories of Legal Aid at Tenaganita

today marks the end of my legal aid at Tenaganita - 14 days of compulsory legal aid as part of the completion of pupillage in Malaysia.

to begin with, it was my second choice after AWAM, and in truth, it was spurred by this.

people thought it had a lot to do with Women's Rights - i think the -nita part in the name fooled all of them. but it was actually all about migrant workers and their rights.

training was a blast, but it didn't prepare me for what came to be. i started out with documentation of cases - boring and mind numbing. and calculation of wages, which gave me a headache.

later i progressed to interviewing the migrant workers who came to the centre with their complaints. myanmarese illegals - chins who ran across the border looking for safety and shelter, only to find that there was none to be had here, only employers who fed them spoiled food scraps and locked them out without any reason.

one friday, i called up an employer to ask her side of the story once, and she yelled at me, demanding to know how the hell a fellow Malaysian could gang up with a foreign worker to oppress Malaysians and that she wanted to sue me and sue Tenaganita. i freaked out at first - which led to Lai Kuan's extremely kind gesture of taking me out to tea after our duty was over. i learned to keep calm and to handle such abusive people as a result, though. and the second time was a lot better.

another memorable incident was heading down to Klang by bus with 2 Indians (from India) who couldn't speak Malay or English while my friend, Wee Woon and i couldn't speak a word of Tamil. we ended up in the Indian quarter, negotiating with a travel agent who was holding on to the Indians' passports. we depended on sign language to communicate - chicken and duck talk again!!! Wee Woon pounced on the nearest Indian man to translate for us. (the Indian women at the bus stop were giving us funny looks as we were the only Chinese there) and then we went in and settled matters.

after this was over, the Indians and Wee Woon and myself shared a packet of 'kacang puteh' outside the travel agency. phew.
then it was time to take 2 other Indians to make a claim at the Port Klang Labour Dept. (which turned out to be in Pandamaran, NOT Port Klang - a lot nearer) . luckily these 2 Indians could speak Malay. :P
the funny bit was when i had finally transcribed his story - only the Malaysian part, since the Indian part was long and written in Hindi, the labour officer called the employer who shouted over the phone, which i held at a distance (see, i learned from my earlier experience) ...
SAYA HANTAR MEREKA BALIK TONGSAN BARU TAU!
er, in case you failed to notice, the workers were INDIAN. meh. :P

ultimately the day ended with marvelous Bak Kut Teh and Cendol - 3 cheers for delicious Klang food courtesy of Wee Woon, native Klangite. :)

i cannot forget how i helped negotiate/mediate the case of 40 Bangladeshi workers and an irate sub-contractor and i cheered when he was willing to return their passports (btw, it's an offence to detain a person's passport without their consent) all the way in Bangi Labour Dept. in the end, i acted as a sort of court interpreter/registrar.

and how i fell on my last day of duty, just outside the Subang Jaya Labour Dept. the Bangladeshi worker tried to pull me up, but i think he made my arm's injuries worse. :(
i limped all the way to KL and i limped all the way back.

i remember also the Sudoku moments on Friday, when Lai Kuan, Melanie, Zaza and Lally and myself played Sudoku to quicken the pace of a slow day. i learned to like Sudoku because of that, although i m still horribly slow. and careless. amazing, since i have a phobia of numbers to begin with. i m also amazed at how Lai Kuan and Zaza could discuss how to construct Sudoku puzzles when i was struggling away. you will need something to do when you wait at the Immigration Dept in Putrajaya - it puts any local wet market to shame, how disorganised and hot it is.

all in, i felt an amazing sense of satisfaction at having helped a few migrant workers achieve justice. the things we Malaysians are capable of - abuse and withholding wages, it's nothing to be proud of.
and i am angry at the system which can afford to make the rich richer but can do nothing to protect the rights of Myanmarese refugees. for crying out loud, where do you expect them to go? what do you expect them to do? you give them refugee cards, but what's the use? they can still get detained by the police, by RELA, locked up just like animals.

thank you to my legal aid mates esp Wee Woon and Lai Kuan, Flo and the other people at Tenaganita, Melanie, Steven ... i've learned so much. and i appreciate the support and advice, Lai Kuan. really do! :)

so if you're chambering in KL, on the verge of picking something for legal aid - i would recommend Tenaganita. you WILL make a difference, it depends on you.

Of the school band and playing percussion

a long time ago , i was a member of the Marian Convent school band, and i played percussion. to be more exact, it was the triangle.

the memories are sweet - staying back after school, practising in our groups in the school hall, and marching on the school field to coordinate our moves, hanging with alison and janis who was with me on the triangle going 'ting' at the right time, messing with it so that it went 'tingtingting' like a crazed alarm clock. doing stunts that involved my legs and hands flying all over the place and watching my fellow band-mates practise when i got bored (the triangle was nice, but it wasn't er, super challenging. funny because i never had that much sense of rhythm)

we played 'long long ago' 'negaraku' and 'wawasan 2020' for sports day, and i was in Standard 4 at that time. marching in our red skirts and white shirts across the school field, i had never felt prouder.

sadly awhile after that, the drum major passed away from leukemia. and the teacher in charge transferred to another school. so our band was disbanded.
and even more sadly, when i went to secondary school in main convent, the 'padang' was hanky sized and there was NO school band at all.
by the time i got to Form 6 and there was a school band, it was a bit too late. having said that, i admired the skills and dedication of the Michaelian Military Band, and i thought they played beautifully at the concert i attended in the town hall 6 years ago.

if i had kids, or if i ever have kids, i'd encourage them to join the school band. it builds rapport, gives you confidence, exercise, exposure. and you get to learn a musical instrument, hehe. hard work of course. but best of all, you get to make all the noise you want while marching around. how's that for cool? :)

memories of 'haluansiswa'

i was driving along jln universiti after mass today morning when i noticed that there was a traffic jam. i wondered why, since sunday morning usually means clear roads. then i remembered that today is the start of 'haluansiswa' or orientation for the first year uni students all over the country.

and boy, did that bring back memories...

i remember leaving ipoh way way early in the morning with my parents, about 4, so we could reach 4th college at about 8. hauling my stuff up to the highest floor, where my room was.
meeting ins, my roommate, who would be my roommate in the coming 4 years.
the endless 'taklimat' or briefings, which incidentally, looking back, should have been taken with a pinch of salt. or maybe a gallon.
i remember sitting in the hall, half asleep after yelling our way thru some cheers and yells and being bored by the briefings which started from 6 in the morning and ended past midnight.
i remember walking with my 'cell' group members who appointed me as leader. we talked a lot of rubbish and laughed a lot. ...

i also remember my first taste of homesickness which hit me hard on the 3rd day of the 1 week orientation programme. suddenly i missed everyone at home, from my grandparents to my parents to the twins. ... even the two little demons, i started to cry when i thought about what they were doing. felt better, much better after that, though.
...

the law fac orientation is another story. :) perhaps one best told another time.

but all in, it was definitely an experience to remember. and i was really fortunate to have my sister around, who took me for mass and out shopping in midvalley along with Ins. and honestly, gave me much comfort. thank you so much!

thinking back, wondering how i was going to cope. looks like i did it, and i think that's the way life is. you take it a step at a time, and before you know it, it's on to another stage.