it's deja vu all over again

you know those feelings don't you?
they're so f***ing familiar, you've probably had them over a few hundred million times.
what the hell does this all mean?
bored, lonely and ready for a good time, ready to forget.
you've tried reaching for the bottle, lighting up, imagining the smoke blows away the emptiness inside. you've tried, you've tried so often your lips ae numb.
but the smoke clears and you're still alone.
you want to cry out "F*** off and leave me alone!" to those voices that won't shut up.
how many times do you want to walk this path?

you're not sure you know the answer.

... tomorrow you wake up. it's still there. stone cold sober hard as rock, you feel your chest rise up and down, you long to reach out to the promise of hope (which you know fails ultimately) and instead of touching this wavery illusion, you tell yourself you've got to work a lot harder at realising what's possible.

to hell with the impossible. you've got your hands full with the present.