where does the quest to love begin?

the quest to love is the heart of the Christian mission and purpose, embodied in the 2 commandments which Jesus so simply and beautifully lays down in the Gospel:-

"Which commandment is the first of all?"
Jesus answered,"The first is 'Hear, O Israel: the Lord our God, the Lord is one; you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.' The second is this, 'You shall love your neighbour as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these."
Mark 12: 29-31
(for the corresponding gospel passages, please refer to Mt 22:34-40 and Lk 10:25-28)

yet the question is where to begin?

to love God first? it would seem so, since this is the first commandment mentioned by Jesus ... but how does that fit in a highly secularised culture that glorifies self-love?

take for example the song made popular by Whitney Houston "Greatest Love of all"
'Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all'
the justification for such songs and even the concept itself is that it is impossible to love other people when you are filled with self-loathing. and from there, come the concepts of self-esteem and feeling good about yourself so that you can in turn spread the love and goodness.
having read so many books on this as i was growing up, i've come to deplore the candy-coloured and yet one-dimensional pictures they paint of being a complete person.
unless you were born with that unshakeable confidence in yourself (and most of us weren't, realistically speaking) you would entertain self-doubt and wonder about your self and where you belong.

but doubt is not necessarily hatred, and even if you have dug yourself into that abyss of self-hatred, do not despair for to come out is possible.

the answer lies in learning, as the Commandment goes, to love God first and foremost.
and the tripartite arrangement is complete - for only loving him gives you strength and grace to love others and to see yourself as 'a being fearfully and wonderfully made'
the quest to love begins there.