Be careful not to seek yourself in love

"Be careful not to seek yourself in love,
you can end up with a broken heart that way."
St Therese of Lisieux

it is a very human tendency to seek oneself when one is in love...but the truth is that there is not a single human relationship which can truly define who we are. i recall the story of the lady and St Peter of which i had blogged earlier ...

the truth is that only in Him and Him alone can we seek ourselves, and better yet, find ourselves. i am only beginning to understand the full implications of this.

yet this is not to negate the fact that human relationships - our loved ones, friends, and family can bring out facets of our selves, and can urge and encourage us to become better people who are kinder, gentler, more loving, more responsible and in short, more Christ-like. the converse is also true but i believe whole-heartedly in the Malay proverb of 'buang yang keruh, ambil yang jernih' - take what is good, pure and whole, and all that is not, put it aside.
i am not as idealistic as to believe that the power of love can change a person 100%. it is something that needs to be worked at, but it does provide a starting point.
and it pays to consider this as well:
'An intimate relationship does not banish loneliness. only when we are comfortable with who we are and can function independently in a healthy way, can we truly function within a relationship. two halves do not make a whole when it comes to a healthy relationship: it takes two wholes.'
-Patricia Fry-

finally, we ought always bear this in mind:
these human relationships are a reflection of His undying and perfect love for all of us, and thus all such love comes from Him.
blessed be His name...!