Thank you so much to all of you who came and attended my long call on July 10.
...
As with many major occasions in my life, it's been bittersweet.
i learn that happiness is never unadulterated. the human being was not designed for too much joy or too much sadness.
nothing's perfect. it's not right to expect perfection, and it's even more wrong to demand it.
what happens next?
it's time for more work. after being in limbo for so long, i find i m still there until things get moving again.
what does it feel like to know you have so much to do and settle and be almost powerless to start?
you want to drown and yet you keep hanging on, nobody except possibly you yourself know why. frustration? anger? you must keep moving, nothing and nobody will stand still for you.
where does emotion fit into the puzzle you're trying to assemble? does it provide clues to where you are now? does it help you find that in spite of everything, this all makes some sort of sense?
some sort of deja vu, struck by the similar circumstances, i will be glad when this is over. all of it, every single bit.
tempted to over-react again, i put this aside calmly, knowing that what i have now in my hands is meaningless, or rather that its meaning is as much as i ascribe to it, and i have decided that it means nothing at all to me. yet, in spite of a desire to throw this away, tearing it into a million tiny pieces - every sound and act so satisfying to me, i would like to believe i have passed that stage from some time ago. expectations tempered, clear eyed vision comes with a price.
in a couple of weeks more, i m 25. yet another milestone, a quarter of a century old ... quo vadis yet again.
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