you Christian right? then you must forgive me

I was about to leave when he looked at me and said-
You Christian right? Then you must forgive me.

I didn’t say anything then, but I was thinking – Yeah right. As if I can forget all the things you’ve said and done to me and the amount of stress and heartache you’ve caused me. You’ve got to be kidding me. No way. I’ve got to be crazy to even think of letting it go, not when I might open myself up to more pain later on.

But here’s the deal.

I am a Christian. A Catholic Christian. A person who professes the name of Christ, who tries to make it a point to pray, read the Bible and go to church for Mass. A person who seeks to live the light of Christ in the world.

So he is right, I must forgive him. Not on account of what he did, but on account of who I am. Otherwise I would be a hypocrite and I can only have contempt for myself.

Not that it’s easy – just as I remember kindness gratefully, each detail staying with me and I am thankful for small blessings, I remember wounds and slights with a now aching clarity. And I end up despising those who have done me wrong. And yet this is an opportunity to learn the real meaning of saying along with Jesus, as he died on the cross:-
“Father, forgive them, they know not what they do”.
I won’t make excuses for him, for them.
I won’t.
And yet, I will learn compassion and an even fuller knowledge of the fact we’ve all fallen short of God’s glory.
Who am I to judge? Someday somehow someway – I will be glad for all this.

As I regain a sense of perspective and realise I’m a child of God at first instance (before I am a daughter, friend, legal assistant etc), I start to see that I owe a duty to God to lift His name on high. I’m not sure I’ll start liking all those problematic people in my life – probably not. At the very least, love isn’t about liking. It’s about wanting the best for the other person – even when they would prefer you 6 feet under.

So I’ll start praying for all of them.

And at the same time, call on St Jude’s intercession – for all those hopeless cases in my office. by this i mean actual cases, not hopeless people...!
And St Anthony, my beloved patron saint – for assistance in locating lost documents and files. :)